After a long time... Thoughts.

I have not posted in ages, because I have been going through some personal things that have prevented me from posting. I have put on like 7lbs since the last time I posted, which is so disgusting, because fasting was really starting to help me to lose weight. That is why tomorrow I am fasting all day and after that I am going to eat small lunches of crackers and fruit. My dinners will be nibbled and thrown away, because I cannot do this to myself anymore. I was looking at old photos of myself the other day and it has occurred to me that I have been this fat for most of my life and I will not stand for it. I cannot let myself get down because I have apparently 'lost' the genetic lottery. That is not how it works, if I work for it, it will happen. I have gained weight and I will hate myself forever over it, but I am going to work for this from now on!.

 I want to look like this girl, with her thigh gap and skinny arms and body. I would die for this body.

I will definitely get my collar bones, my ribs will stick out and my thin thighs.